I think you are trying to guilt him with the kids and needing help because you can't let go despite what you say (I don't doubt that you need the help, but you are trying to control what it looks like). He left. He doesn't want to be with you. He wants space from you. You are not respecting that. You are digging this hole deeper and deeper.
Instead of asking him to come to your home to watch the kids, he should be doing what most of the fathers on this board do and take the children with him a few nights a week. Then you can do what you need to do. He can have his space. He can bond with his children. And they can bond with him.
Again, like Zues says, stop trying to control everything. You are not going to guilt him back and you are not going to force him back. Let him go.
Get help with the child care you can and make sure you get the financial resources that you are entitled to under the law. Then leave him alone. When things calm down, think about the comments he's made, own what is yours and clean it up, and then move on with your life.
