25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

his dad gives him some of his expected inheritance early

I am not sure if you are consulting with a lawyer but my belief, at least in the state I live in is that inheritance if not co-mingled with marital assets is not part of a divorce agreement.
If it is kept separately in a non-joint account it can be exempted.

Cadet - yes I understand it's (usually) not marital property

Generally In CA they only consider it as part of the overall ability to pay. H claims he is unable to pay b/c, you know, he's 60 and "retired" and (never mind the contract and the buy out and the 10 year plan...) and shared living expenses with OW may also play a role in that, but I'm not certain. H was debating the sep date too, by a few weeks. I could not understand why b/c we were "married' in every way till the day he left but maybe he got money and commingled but I think he just wanted to not look as if he left a w after her release from the hospital and had her sign a note waiving rights to a joint account.

Both scenarios stink...I mean, ouch.

Anyhow MY main point was mostly that it's inexplicably crappy -given the reality of his future finances--

- for h to do things like send half of the NET of the pension to me, to save a few hundred bucks as if it won't be noticed?? What does he think when he does that? What spin does he put on that? I know, I Know, don't try to put a rational spin on irrational behavior. Plus, his anger is so odd and his narrative is so distorted I cannot spend time wondering that but I DO want the money!!

AND

he contacts our kids (& God only knows who else) to complain about me and to play the victim role BIG TIME

even telling s31 he'd "retire before giving her ALL this money - b/c he will DIE if he has to work that hard"

as if 1) temporarily paying me a portion of "his" income would somehow make him work "harder" and die, and

as if
2) he isn't getting millions from his dad -

and so this whole narrative of his being forced to live in a hovel - or OW's house?? and worked to death is pretty much insane victimhood.

Not sure if you read this but he also cancelled a life ins policy I got on him when he was deployed 5-6 years ago.

Mind you, I am the payor and have been paying the premium out of pocket or my credit card, for the whole time.

I mean, I don't know how he recalled having this policy,

but I know It took some effort on his part to call USAA to cancel the policy (he's the "owner" even though I got it and pay for it etc)

and the call notes said "COL/DOCTOR H was informed wife had been paying all premiums. COL/DOCTOR h insists the policy be cancelled."

Now, me getting another policy (more expensive due to his age) still requires him to approve it , which I think it is safe to say is not likely...


yet it cost him nothing for me to have that policy. I'm leaving whatever I own at time of death, to our children. So in effect he lessens what they'd get too.

Other than planning to off himself soon, and to punish me more

(and for what??? I swear, hand to God I'm baffled that he sees himself as the aggrieved party in this. I would almost prefer pity)

- the only other explanation for the policy cancellation is that he wants to make sure I get as little as possible in any way - ever-- to control from the grave? Why does he care?

I'm the mother of his children. Why would he want me to be in a sad financial position and or to give our kids nothing if we both pass away in the next decade?

Or maybe, maybe he thinks this will pressure me to settle?? (I will be inserting a clause for life insurance, btw and he can pay the increased costs -so that's stupid financially).

But If it's that, if he thinks that ^^motivates me MORE to settle, OMG what a fool.

He's got such a bad knack for tactical negotiations.

Just irritated me so much that it took all of my willpower & my sisters, not to text him a blasting message.

Just to say how little self awareness he has & NO insight into how his choices are viewed by those who know...

(**Yeah, I know. I'll send the exact right words in just the correct order and...and....

THEN he'll see!!)**