Hi Pax - I'm sorry you had an ugly encounter with your H - ugh. My H initially then came up with some ideas for settlement that were ludicrously in favour of him and not me. I think I actually came away with around double of his initial suggestion - and that was purely based on the 'normal' formula for couples divorcing in our circumstances - nothing more. Actually, once H engaged his own L, he became much more reasonable. I think she set out how things were likely to work and he was more able to take that from a trusted, independent person.

From what I recall, is your H representing himself?? Or has he engaged a L who is unreasonable?

Anyway, I'll revisit what I have said before - that stuff is his stuff. I know what has happened must have hurt. But think about it - any reasonable person would at least want to honour the R that was and D in a reasonable manner that supports everyone's interests - no? So, if he wants otherwise, that's all on him.

It sounds like you are doing well in so many aspects of your life - and I will share my mantra for living - posted on the forum by Caliguy originally - but it spoke to me:

Appreciate what you have, and strive to do your best from wherever you are at daily.

I think if you manage to live in that way (and I sense you are) life will unfold in beautiful ways for you...

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus