First, all of this is FEAR. fear of something new. But good things are on the other side of fear. It's reasonable to be fearful, but I think we miss a lot of good things in life because of fear.
You are smart in taking it slow. You are right, kids between 9-12 do become attached pretty easily. My D is 9 and she still misses my last boyfriend. Only the second I introduced her to, but the one she spent the most time with. I became attached to the one before the last's daughter. We had a very special bond. It was very difficult for the both of us.
My last guy was of a physique I was not used to. I never dated an overweight guy before. it just happened to be that way. I met him at the gym in an effort to lose weight. But I found him very attractive. For me, the inside ends up making the outside look different. A very physically attractive guy could be a turn off for me if his personality stinks.
