25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

I'm glad this is being discussed actually.

Maybe I should have created a different thread for this or maybe we need a "suicide/depression/domestic violence" thread anyhow. (?)

Safe to assume even without psychosis or any other psychiatric problems,

most people here have had trouble sleeping and eating. Most here have energy levels that fluctuate wildly, our concentration is off, we are easily distracted, we can be emotionally fluid or just damn sad. Some of us get panic attacks, heart palpations, or cannot face any tasks associated with this process. And there are assorted other physical and emotional problems.

This^^^ has to affect us[/b] neurologically.

(KML, I'm not a doctor of medicine /- but 'm a doctor of law/play one on tv/am married to one
which are all EXACTLY the same )

[/b]


I think we can stipulate on this site, that there are too many divorces in our nation.

Ginger to be fair, I fully agree there are a lot of marriages in which as least one of the partners is very unhappy (for whatever reason) So we have to care more about being married.

How many of us know couples in which each spouse would say and mean, their marital r is the most important thing in their lives?


And yes Our legal process makes a lousy situation even worse. And so does the blasé reaction of our society to divorce in general. Lots of questions about why you are divorcing and the expectation is you'll have a one sentence answer. WTF?

Most mediocre marriages will NOT improve with time. The lousy marriages that somehow dramatically improve, tend to require a life altering event and or an internal seismic change in one or both.
If we Imagine a criminal case of equal importance, like having your house burn down and trying to decide the cause of the fire AND if you'd ever get another house, you can see the drama/trauma of divorce in another light.


The PROCESS must be changed. I have ideas and invite others.

Some jurisdictions require counseling for the kids, a few parenting classes too.

I don't think regular "MC" would help much at all, not if they just rehash their past and take out their scorecards to renew their grievances...

**** I wish for time apart or some type of DB like intervention so that when the couples meet face to face, they do not repeat the dynamic that got them in divorce court.

Only time and deep introspection and R reflection can help most couples in these situations. If anything.

How do you get that?

I'm not sure how we could "make" someone who thinks they want out, able to see the long term consequences to others And to themselves...


more on Ralph later