there are many studies that find women are more likely to initiate divorce. Therefore, in most cases, the men are the ones left in shock and most likely didn't want the divorce.
I would not equate the numbers on who FILES for divorce with the numbers on who CAUSED the divorce. My observation from many many years here on the boards is that quite often, the husband who leaves, often in a blaze of MLC, seldom is proactive in moving the divorce process along (because, after all, paperwork is boring when you're out having MLC fun, plus they kinda like to keep the wife waiting at home as a potential Plan B if it doesn't work out, plus it is sometimes financially advantageous to them not to file.) Therefore I've seen many women forced to do the filing even though the divorce was not their idea and not what they necessarily wanted.
Quote:
There can also be other factors for the mental instability of male divorcees.......carrying a heavy financial burden,
Granted, both parties usually lose financially in a divorce because two CAN live more cheaply together than apart. And that financial strain can certainly add to the pain when you're the LBS. But I just want to correct the impression that women somehow make out in a divorce. Many studies show that on average, women's financial state after divorce is far worse than men's financial states after divorce. Men may harbor a lot of resentment about paying things like child support and alimony, but statistically, women's standards of living drop significantly while men's rise. (There are many contributors to this, including the fact that women are often not paid on par with men, women "mommy track" their careers to care for children and home, I see a lot of women here not fight for everything they are entitled to in a divorce in hopes that by being "nice" their spouse will be more likely to come home, etc. etc.). Note, I'm not saying that it NEVER works the other way - and I have seen some men here who definitely got the short end of the financial stick in a divorce - but in general, it's the women that suffer more financially.
