W just stopped by work with D (she got her from summer program today because her field trip tomorrow was cancelled) because I didn't get to see her much this week. It's the most thoughtful thing she's done all year.
I've been a wreck this week. I'm completely conflicted. What you guys have been saying has knocked me out of where I was. Still sure I love GF. Only now I'm not sure that it makes sense to. Or to keep doing what I'm doing.
I thought what was wrong with me was that I was anxious about father's day on Sunday. And that I hadn't really gotten to spend time with D this week. And that I had to work (with D there) for an emergency situation on Tuesday night and was stressed about that. Now I just plain don't know what I'm doing, anymore.
I asked W if she minded if I got D early Sunday morning for father's day. Her response was, "If you want, but I've already made plans for you. Don't be doing anything on Saturday." I was afraid that I wouldn't even get a gift from D, that W was just going to let father's day pass unmarked. And instead my WAW/WW/WTF has apparently put something special together for me.
I feel awful.
I don't believe this makes things different, really. W still hasn't changed anything. Still spends lots of time with OM on Xbox (and I assume on phone, etc). Still doesn't work. She was supposed to go to a psych appointment today and when I asked about it, said she didn't go (no reason, just didn't go). There's nothing there to rebuild a relationship on. Part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
