Such a hard thing to judge since she didn't really seem to lose her connection with the pets and kids. I mean I guess by moving out she is putting her needs in front of theirs, but she has stayed very active with them trying to spend time with them and keep up with their schedules. The only obvious connection that seems to be lost is the one with me.
As far as letting her back in when we have a real marriage again, how do I judge that? I mean I realize that there will be a lot of work involved in restoring our marriage back to what it was (or something similar) and that it won't happen over night. If she is not displaying replay behavior and seems to be trying to stay present within the family and stop the activity that was hurting our relationship before, as well as going to counseling, and admitting to blaming me for things that weren't my fault, at what point to I consider her behavior a real marriage? I mean considering that restoring will take a while and although still a little awkward, maybe trying to be better.
To clarify, I am not trying to get you to say that she should move back in and we are in a good spot, I'm really just trying to figure out what it will mean to have a real marriage again given that it will take time to fix things. What benchmarks should I be looking for?
As always, thank you for talking me through this. It helps so much talking with people who actually know about this stuff.
