Boston Dad in need of Help

[Coconut]

[quote=AnotherStander]

Regarding the MBR, I would tell your wife "I understand that you're involved with another man, and that you'd like a divorce. I'm not okay with being in an open marriage. Since you're the one that wants to leave, I'd like you to move out of the MBR and I plan to return to it beginning tonight."

How do you think that might change things?

If you do that, you're clearly not pursuing, begging or pleading right?

Acc

Acc,
Thanks again for your input. You and everyone else who has commented on my situation have been a big help.

So, if I reference her EA while asking her to leave the MBR, wouldn't that drive her further away? Instead, would it be better just to say, "Since you want to leave our family and get a divorce, I'd like you to move out of the MBR as I plan on returning to my bed tonight."?

Thanks

Fact - She IS having an EA

Not Fact - Since you want to leave our family and get a divorce (you are either putting words in her mouth or believing what she says and not what she does; she has neither left your family nor has she divorced you, and unless you are a mind reader, you don't know what she really wants.)

The general idea is to let her know that you are NOT ok with her having an EA, and you will not be in an open marriage. The MBR is the sanctuary for a marriage and she should not be in there when she is with another man.

Stick with the facts, and follow Accuray's suggestion.. I've been posting here a long time, i'm not familiar with Accuray, but what he's posted on your thread is pure gold.. You would do well to go back and read everyone of his posts on your thread and really try and understand what is being said, because it's dead on.