25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

rick

(Hi!)

Yeah, well, I can't say 95% of my violent clients were mentally ill.
I think of armed robbers (and burglars who are surprised there is someone home) & I don't think they are necessarily mentally ill. I suppose rapists are arguable mentally ill but I've never heard them claim mental illness absent some abuse in their childhoods.
Maybe you can refer me to the source if you can recall it.

I'm familiar with the signs of suicide you mention. I just don't think that applies here as no one thinks it was premeditated.
In the opinion of the therapist and pastor & others, Ralph was not suicidal in advance of the event.
He was in our support group, active in his church, he was planning on hosting another event, & he cared deeply about his kids. Ralph said his goal was to improve his r with his ex w and said he wanted to stop being irritable with her. So, no, He did not plan this. He was not suicidal until after he realized what he had done. And in a way that was the appropriate response. If Ralph spent 5 minutes thinking this out, he'd totally avoid this. He would feel complete utter regret.

Belaboring this point isn't really my goal here.

I think I'm just freaked AND I think is something to watch for in others (and ourselves).

As I said earlier, I wish there was research on the brain after long periods of sadness or stress/obsessing, etc. We know there are changes in the behavior (and increased suicide) but I wonder about actual structural or chemical changes. Same for deployed soldiers. Less sleep, poor eating, low or manic energy- the fact that we cannot concentrate as well means something is going on.

Now that I think about it, our obsessing -after awhile, is pretty darn unhealthy &
We can ruminate too long and repetitively.

We tend to focus on the MLC WAS's behavior and forget to check ourselves often enough for our own unhealthy behaviors.


Yes it's absolutely a form of PTSD. In Ralphs case, he also learned that his son was going to die before the age of 20, which he learned a few months ago. Even for an LBSer, he was under tremendous stress and it was ongoing.

His inlaws showed up Sunday and I guess they were "observing" his drop off time.

We will never know what transpired in the <2 minutes between his arrival at the house, and... the rest.

To be clear, there's no defense to what he did. I know that.

But it's alarming & sad & horrifying. His little d8 will never be the same, & seeing her mom, and asking the neighbor to call 911 - OMG I can't even go there. She lost her mom and her dad in the most brutal manner.

So we really need to look out for ourselves, "check in" with ourselves, and we need to be safe with our spouses.

This is not painless for anyone. But it should not be fatal.

Very sad.