I wanted to add a few things mentioned in our MC session last week that might be pertinent. I mentioned above that she said that she had been blaming me for things that now that she has had some time away that she realized were not my fault. She also said that she had 101 reasons that she wanted to make things work between us. I replied by asking if any of those things had anything to do with me because I could think of a bunch of reasons to ie: finances, missing the kids, not liking her apartment, etc. She said yes, they do include me. I followed up by asking if she had any desire to be with me at all. She said Of Course I do. I said that she couldn't say of course because she didn't show it.
I realize that during the MC session that I was having a hard time listening and understanding what she was saying as I wanted to say my own thing. I brought up how in the past months she has told me that maybe we weren't compatible, that I might be happier with someone else, that we got together too young, and that she couldn't be the loving wife I needed her to be. The counselor asked if she wanted to reply to that and she said that she said those things when she was really unhappy. She seemed to imply that she didn't feel that way, but she didn't actually say that. She looked a little ashamed about it, but hard to say for sure as it was more of a look than what she said.
I guess I wonder if her saying that she was blaming me for stuff that wasn't my fault, saying that she messed everything up, saying that there are many reasons to work things out (including me), and that she does have a desire to be with me...paired with small acts of spending more time around...even if it is still a little distant and awkward, are good signs. I feel like I need to get a handle on where we are since we have her housing situation to consider in the next couple of weeks. Either she is moving back home or finding a new apartment.
