25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=Ginger1]What an incredibly sad story, 25. And I am sure this is extra difficult because this is someone you knew and liked. That has got to be hard to handle. Not many people get to know someone who killed someone on a personal basis.

not counting clients, this^^ is true. Certainly the first friend I have had who took a major exit ramp in life. Damn.

I remember, because I guess I am kind of warped, when I was a kid I asked myself what would happen if I found out my dad was a murderer? He was my safe place and my friend and I wondered how I would felt if I found out something horrible. Would I still love him? Then I remember I said of course I would, he is my dad! And then I felt guilty about loving him if he was a murderer..... (I know, this sounds nuts. I have always been an overthinker).

I get it. I have not told anyone in real life other than my sisters that he was in our group or that I went to his house or that I liked him. I told my sister 2 weeks ago that he was "a really devoted dad". SO weird.


My mom was mentally ill. She did take her own life 4 years after my dad left her. She was a mentally ill former addict and spiraled out when he left. She couldn't handle it.


Ginger...wtf? That is some serious ouch.

I remember saying I wish my ex would have died rather than have left me. I never though of killing him of course, but I felt his death wouldn't have been a CHOICE to leave me.

I think a lot of us get that feeling. MY sister was divorced, remarried and then was widowed. I'm positive she preferred widowhood to being rejected.

(Plus you get free food when someone dies...) yes that's called gallows humor.

I never thought about killing myself after bomb drop because I had a baby. But I had wished I was dead sometimes and I imagined a tractor trailer taking me out on the way to work.

There are life events that are so devastating that just make people snap. So incredibly sad for all involved. Especially those kids.


Yes yes...^^

I was wondering if our brains and neuroplasticity can be redirected by chronic stress and hurt, rage, frustration, and then despair.

Would the MRI show changes?

Again, I think we all must stress HOPE in our situations.

Ralph must have felt hopeless after he attacked his xw, and or horrific shame, or more despair...a despair I hope never to know.

I feel in my heart that if he had believed his life was going to be better soon,

maybe none of this would have happened.

Hope really matters.