Thank you, OwnIt. That helps to think about. There is always more time. When I find myself wanting to do something (anything), I soon realize that none of it will be of benefit. That would just be me reacting out of hurt or anger.
When I read other posters and their fixation on their S--everything they do, say, their intentions, the mind reading, etc--it pains me. I wasted so, so much time on that. It doesn't change anything and it certainly doesn't help healing or moving forward. If anything it exacerbated the resentment towards H that I now need to work through.
The thing is, even if I have the returned and remorseful H, I still have all of the baggage that built up over the years. Even though we may have talked and worked though some of it, most of it, that doesn't mean the past is erased. The forgiveness piece is incredibly complex. Something holds me back. These days I don't want either option in front of me.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
