Here again part 6

[25yearsmlc]

Do I ask him to leave or just let it play out? My plan was to say nothing. See if he comes home and if he comes home just say nothing and just work on my school work. Not say a word about anything.

These ^^ choices are you being reactive or you being powerless. ALL about what HE will do on this one night. He knows what buttons to push and he is pushing them.

So Unplug the buttons and make some plans for a life without this insanity. It is Not healthy.


My parents think he's lashing out like he did about bike week when he first dropped the bomb a few months ago. That he's lashing out because I told him no to the concert.



Well he sure showed you!

Frankly, who cares why he's lashing out? Isn't the point that he is lashing out?

Is it b/c you think down deep no loving woman with 3 kids including a newborn baby and a job in school, would dare to ask her h for help and say "no" to a freaking concert???

What would you tell someone else who believed ^^that?

I've been in touch with a friend that's an attorney and have received some numbers of some local attorneys. I am going to try to consult with at least one on Friday so I know my rights before I do anything.

^^^Smart. Interview more than one before hiring - even if it's only by phone, given the baby sitting needed.

See if there's a 'Second Saturday" group near you. It's a presentation for the financial aspects of divorce, usually for women.

I went last week (On a Sunday, ironically) and there was a L, a T and a CPA there. I learned things I needed to know. It costs $25 to attend, so it was a no brainer. Very useful. The local Women's Center in your community usually has good resources for that too.

I'm. Losing it. I'm exhausted. This is my only place to vent. So I'm sorry everyone had to hear me sounding so weak. I'm trying to hold it all together.


FYI you don't come off as weak. Confused, yes. Hurt, and at times indecisive but not weak. Weak is not caring for your boys or maintaining r's with your parents or not caring how your life is headed.

I just took the boys to lunch but I am dying inside. I'm looking at this baby and I feel like I'm falling apart. I have let my children down again. I brought an innocent life in the world to live in separate homes.

STOP SIGN to this^^^....it's not true and it's not productive. You must redirect.

I didn't have children to see them 50% of the time. I know I'll be okay I just have a lot of mud to walk through.

I'm just not sure what my next step is.

Respond to the text? Ask him to move out? Or just not react to anything.

Make an appointment with the L.

Make plans for your study group and if your mom can take the kids, okay. So be it.

If not then let him handle it as he said he would AND which he will soon need to on his visitation days anyhow.

(I'd be shocked if your h used up 50% of his visitation btw, but let's not go down the rabbit hole of worst case scenarios).

T0, he's going to do what he's going to do no matter what you say.

If "asking him to leave" will feel like some control on your end, then do it.

If it's going to haunt you with thoughts that you "made him leave," then don't.

I do not believe it'll change anything in the long run.

But this situation Is costing you so much internally, emotionally, psychologically & physically. It's bad for you.

I read somewhere the sometimes our fears/anticipation of an event is

worse than the actual event itself.

Think about that. Take charge of your life and stay strong b/c you are strong.

If we were there we'd all get you some comfort food and rock that baby, and let you sleep (or bingewatch netflix).

For now, get through this day.