I attended a similar group meeting when going through my divorce - I agree wholeheartedly with your advice, it's a huge financial transaction and most divorce lawyers have a flimsy grasp on the tax consequences etc. Wife dot org has some good related financial advice.
Simple things like the tax consequences of receiving alimony versus a lump sum. The necessity of getting a QDRO to split a pension. Lots to consider and definitely worth getting some sound financial planning advice.
AS for daughter's legal issue - lawyers are expensive, but not having one can be more expensive still. You may need to directly ask your H to help with the legal fees - you can hope that he may be ashamed to say no in a voice conversation with you, whereas it's easy to say no to an email.
I had a similar situation - my oldest son, as an indirect consequence of his Asperger's, got caught up in a legal situation with a pretty bad potential outcome. Ex and I each paid half of the initial fee - but when the total bill came due (for the lawyer EX had researched and hired btw as I was out of the country when this first came down) my ex stuck me with the entire remainder, to the tune of an additional $10k. I've never forgiven him for that.
And one of the reasons my ex felt justified in sticking me with that fee? Because he's an idiot and totally didn't understand the tax consequences of alimony, so he thought he was paying me much more than he actually was. He was apparently under the delusion that he was paying me almost 20% of his income in alimony, when, once you calculate his tax deduction for it etc., it was only 11% of his after-tax take-home income. He also probably thought that I got all of that alimony money, instead of having to pay about a third of it in taxes.
