Talking made this situation worse. Protect yourself and your feelings and stop talking to him, which only pushes him further away. It looks like he is trying to line up the child care. Let him do that. Let him get his stuff on his timetable.
Stop thinking that there is a deadline or that something must happen immediately. It is not going to. Stop projecting your feelings in this moment over the rest of your life. Your feelings will change one way and then the other. Stop giving yourself ultimatums and stop repeating them to him.
If you want your H and your marriage, keep your mouth shut. You don't have a clear path so do nothing in the meantime.
Only communicate with him when he initiates. Then keep it short, civil and businesslike. Limit your communications to the kids, the house, etc. Only business. STOP bringing up the relationship, the timetable, what this means, what that means.
Focus on the kids, your school, your work, and your friends and family.
You know with 100% certainty that what you have been doing is not working. Now try to really DB. Give him the space. Give yourself the time.
