You've probably heard this and it probably doesn't help and is anecdotal, but I read a thread on another site by a really amazing poster who talked about his W's MLC and return. He said it took something like 3-4 years for his feelings to return once she recommitted. He expressed the same kinds of things that you are in years 1-2. I can imagine that with all the detaching the LBS does to survive these situations that it can take a long time for them to reawaken as well.
