Boston Dad in need of Help

[Teppo]

PS- hello Acc, how have you been?!

Hello AnotherStander! I've been good -- in a new relationship for over two years now, loving life!

For that reason, there is zero chance that she'll be able to hear you if you write her a letter or pour out your feelings to her. She'll just feel that you're making her responsible for your happiness and she won't like it at all.

There was a great quote I used to post here but it's been so long I can't find it. The gist of it was this -- your wife thinks she knows you 100%. She knows how you dress, how you think, what you like, what you don't like, how you will react to things etc. It's like you're playing a game of poker with her and you are showing her all of your cards, and she's not showing you any of hers.

Time to stop showing your cards. Time to make her guess what you're thinking and what you're going to do. Time to change things up to make her wonder if she knows you as well as she thinks. The best thing you can do right now is make her wonder.

People in affairs have a nice situation -- they're getting all of this excitement from their affair partner, but they also have a nice safety net with their left-behind-spouse who is longing away for them.

Time to pull out the net. Lean into this -- GIVE HER MORE SPACE THAN SHE IS ASKING FOR. Do not, under any circumstance, tell her how you feel or what you want.
Acc

Thanks for the response, Acc.
The point of my letter is to read it to her at our last meeting. I figure if our marriage is truly over, this will be the last time that I would have her attention and opportunity to tell her how I feel about our marriage, her EA, and the affect a divorce will have on our son. Let's just say I have a lot to "get off my chest" because I haven't had the opportunity to do so. I feel that if I don't tell her how I feel about everything that I'll regret not saying anything. With this in mind, do you still think it's a bad idea to read the letter to her?

Thanks