I still don't really want to post in my thread. I'm still thinking.
Thanks for the insight, Cadence. I'd like to say that you've completely missed the target, but a lot of that is uncomfortably close. I don't get stuck in my head to the detriment of my partner (well, that too) but really to my OWN detriment. I forget about me, which causes a domino effect. I'm very, VERY bad about caring about myself when I have a reason not to.
I'm driving myself crazy at the thought of rebounding. I am analyzing the hell out of myself. Second guessing everything I do. Doing a lot of reading on the subject. A few indicators are there, but lots of "healthy relationship" indicators are there, too. I'm wondering if I'm confusing myself.
W reached out to me this weekend to discuss finally getting her stuff, and what she could have. She wanted my washer/dryer (pre-M) and was upset when I said no. So I kinda feel a little angry and used. Told her so, which seems silly.
When I talked to D last night (MIL asked to keep her Sunday night, and that stretched an extra day) I ended up talking to W for a couple of minutes, and there wasn't any drama. I got the sense she wanted me to tell her to just come home so we could figure things out. She was really pressing me to "tell her what I was thinking." I feel like I'm supposed to try to fix that, no matter how much I don't really want to, no matter that nothing on her end has actually changed since BD, no matter that a big part of me feels like it's some kind of scam or game... I feel like it's my job as a spouse to TRY. I hate this feeling.
