TxHub, it's hard for me to read your posts. What you describe is what I am afraid of. It makes me terribly sad to think about this happening. I have made the decision over and over to make this work, and I know that I can, but my heart often doesn't line up with my head. My H is a very good man and father. I still miss how I used to feel about him. It is the A, and our ugly separation, and this fear that I will never feel the same way about him that mainly holds me back. There are these little things about him that I don't like (as we all have) that are harder and harder to see past too.

Storm, I'm sorry buddy. I will also never fully trust another person. I don't see that as a bad thing though. We can still be vulnerable and open to love, while being realistic and protecting our hearts. I think before I missed the second piece. I will say again though, it does get better with time. Everything in life usually does, no? One of the many things that made me hopeful during Retrouvaille were the many Angel Couples that have been there before. They have been through it ALL--heart break, betrayal, and devastation. They have worked hard and committed themselves to their M and all agree the love now is better and stronger than before. They describe that this healing together creates a bond that is far more valuable than the initial years of romance/love. I hope that is true ...

C-Nut, I remember your story so well. I don't know why exactly, but I admired your character and honesty in this process. I was sad when you moved on, but also completely understand. I think some of my sadness for others is because of fears in my own sitch. I do often wonder what my life would be like if H and I D. I know I could have a beautiful life on my own. I like my independence now more than ever before. My sitch is complicated also due to children and finances. I would be foolish and selfish for several reasons to separate right now. It's hard to even explain.

There are several things that have come up recently that I have not shared. As I have said before I know that OW XH is here on the boards. I have still shared openly and honestly but there are some details I tend to leave out. Right now I have some things I would like to talk about and ask for advice on, but it feels awkward to do so without him admitting it is him. I am not sure if that makes sense.

I wish I had more hours in the day to read and post.

Feeling kind of blu today I guess.

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela