On Higher Ground

[roist]

Hawho,

I am glad to hear that you are doing OK. I am also glad that you continue to see improvements in H. It is good that you can see them just as it is good that they are occurring.

In our situations we could easily blow off any such ent as being inconsequent and still not enough. But as you often do, compared to last year and the yearbefore there is significant improvement. Without even thinking about reconciliation that alone must make living together better.

You will need to decide about if you want to go away as he planed. I like that he insists you go. That could be for selfish mlc reasons but maybe he really does prefer you to go. Regardless you need to decide for yourself. Don't be pressured into having to go.

Michelle mentions the importance of family time in the connection process. I agree with her BUT maybe what your H needs is something different.
You leaving him to it for a long weekend alone with the boys would be very different from him and could help those cogs turn in his brain. But ultimately I urge you to do what is best for you.

Maybe you could also plan a weekend for you , as I am sure sometime without H and without your kids would be welcome.

I like that you realised you can have better. I am sure you will one day. I also remember you stating that only a small percentage of your life is not how you want it. Alas it is an important part but you are streets ahead of many here being happy with almost every other part of your life.

One final thought before I have to go, I would be careful about a tit for tat approach but you were IMO right to not give him your phone. To receive is not the same as giving, though he may not realise this at this point. But if he is waking up he may realise how he is treating you.

Got to go

Best wishes