My interpretation of "drop the rope" is when you are done. You make the determination that you will not live in an open marriage and you walk away.
The analogy in my mind is that your wife and you are in a tug of rope competition, she is pulling away into the A, you are trying to pull her back into the family and this goes back and forth until you have had enough.
You drop the rope and she goes flying. Then and only then will she realize what she has lost.
