And all of my fear and anxiety comes from me fearing losing H...
I know this isn't right but I don't want to separate again, I don't want a D. Not that anyone does. But I feel stronger about this than last time especially with our new baby. It is not a life I want to envision coparenting a 1 month old.
I relate every action, reaction, lack of to last time. I compare everything he does or doesn't do to last BD. So when he does things or acts similar to that it makes me more anxious. I'm not sure how to deal with it besides letting go.
I try o envision who I was and had become last BD that attracted him back. I think of all of our talks and his thoughts about me during BD.
I just remember him saying he saw me as fun, happy, living my life without him. The boys and I always out doing something fun and genuinely having a good time even though he wasn't there. That I was laid back and just happy. That there was no pressure on him.
