We are not very religious but I will look into the video.
Glad I have continued to re read these posts and thank you as well cadence. Your post couldn't have come at a better time. I haven't shown any of my emotions or acted anything but warm. We went to lunch with my family and his mom and I just was the person I am being talkative and funny. I haven't directly initiated conversation with H but I've just made sure to have a smile on my face and when he's an ass I'll picture the bubble reference haha
I know I can do this. I did it once before I just have let my hurt emotion and entitlement get in the way for the last 3 months. If I can figure out how to let that go I'm sure things will get better.
I suggested we take the kids cosmic bowling tonight so my parents and H mom will all come so it will be fun. Hopefully doing things like this remind him of the fun we normally have without the negativity
Thank you all for your patience. I've stopped checking the phone bill because I have also recognized that it starts the negative cycle. However the biggest trigger that starts the cycle for me is that I will go several days doing things that he has said he wanted and when I do that and give 10s as zues' post references. He still gives out 3s so then I feel anxious discouraged and hurt and it starts all over again
