So, my wife comes homes this afternoon while I'm napping after a long week. I literally wake up and stand as she enters the living room, shocking me.
She immediately breaks down and goes into a tirade about how she can't deal with this anymore. She can't go on with all the things her family is saying about her, blaming her for, when she did everything she could to love me and received nothing in return from me.
I have no response as my brain was having trouble processing this all. Summary from previous posts-she had wanted to meet this weekend to talk, and we hadn't yet scheduled a time for Sat/Sun, not today, so I really wasn't expecting this.
She talks about how hard it is, how she doesn't feel loved, and how hard it is to find out about what was going on in my life from other. She also made a couple vague references to not being able to continue or go on with any longer. Not quite suicidal threats, but definitely references similar to that she has made in the past.
I had to leave for a previously scheduled meeting, but when I heard this, I had to double-take. I don't remember exactly what I asked to clarify this, but I felt I could leave her without her being an actual danger to herself. She said she would be ok, and talked about going to the gym tomorrow at the same time as me.
I'm still trying to process this all. This is what I think: She is trying to use the threat of suicide to make me feel bad/guilty and force me take action to end things because she feels powerless/helpless? Possibly also to cover some of her efforts to reach out (show up at the house, spend time at the gym tomorrow)? She is trying to assert control of the situation?
She asked a few times what I was feeling because she said I seemed emotionless. I responded, asking her what she needed from me and got no response. Then, I basically had to leave to get this meeting I was already running late for.
I realize she is in an unhealthy, unbalanced state. If this comes up again tomorrow or the next day, I think I need to calmly affirm her statements, even her pain, and reassert her control over her own actions. Being resolute in my affirmation of her control while detaching and GAL gives her the strength to act.
