#46 Tomorrow is Another Day

[kat727]

I really haven't been on since December?? Wow! I will say I have been busy working two jobs, around 70 hours a week and keeping up with the kids. .I have been doing the 2 job gig for about two and a half years. The house has suffered as I have maintained status quo. Cooking meals, doing dishes, laundry, vacuuming and the like. Sadly I never made the kids do set chores, as we were all receiving from the divorce Just all the rest has accumulated into a mess.

I have been tired. Every once and a while the kids will pitch in. Long story short, Tuesday night the girls are dropped off from seeing their Dad. My D18 asks if we can talk, says D16 doesn't want to be here and asks if she can clean for me. I was taken aback, thought D16 was talking about going to her Dad's, just didn't really know what this meant. Then my S21 calls and decides to come over to pick up D16. I went into wounded animal mode, started crying, asked him to stop trying to control what I do type of stuff. Asked him to leave. Anyway the whole thing was an emotional mess, I can't remember really what was said but know that I lashed out.

I am so emotionally drained right now on top of my constant exhausted state. So many things that I should have done differently. I know it will take time to get things to fall back into order but at the moment, I feel betrayed and hurt and angry at my son, who brought my ex into this, and angry at my shortcomings.

My daughter in law hopped in with her criticism too, and so I have lost a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings towards them. I am looking for advice on to mend all the bridges and get my house back on track with all the hours I work. Not much extra money around but figuring out how to make it all happen.

kat