Dealing with (stuck)? MLCer many years later

[elfie]

When I told H I knew about OW he was enraged, he repeatedly denied it and he eventually admitted that it had been just a fooling around thing. He also said that he just needed time and space and that he would come back home. He said the same to the children. I made every effort to suppress my anger in front of him and he started coming by the house taking care of things, taking the dog for walks, etc. He would come over for dinner and fall asleep in his chair in front of the fire. Then he would wake up look at the clock and say he'd better go home because it was late. This hurt. At the same time he had stopped contributing financially to any expenses, he only gave daughter a monthly allowance the amount of which he himself had decided. When I asked him that I needed money for son's uni expenses he would either tell me to sell something or ask son to get a job. Son was attending a very demanding program at one of the top unis, he was already in a work-study program, he also had a scholarship but he still needed help for living expenses from us. Well, I had to provide the money from my own resources because obviously I was the only adult parent he had. The same with my daughter. We had 2 children and my H was taking care of 1/2. I was providing for the other 1and 1/2. Nice. He had more money than me at the time. Money which he was squandering taking trips abroad with god knows who every time, living the good life etc. Any time that I asked him for money for the kids his answer would be to sell gifts he had given me in the past or any other asset he thought I had. He made it very clear that he didn't want any responsibility any more and I eventually withdrew because his indifference hurt. I stopped inviting him for dinner or including him in family events. What bothered me most is that I realized that he had become very competitive with S. I couldn't take all this emotionally.