Thank you OwnIt, I truly appreciate it! Coming from a lawyer that was very encouraging and yes, it is all just to save face in front of family and friends. total agreement with Own.
If she plans to go for full custody then I just see this turning into a long drawn out and expensive court battle.
um, I don't think so. You have documentation of her lack of involvement (fb posts too) and when her L shows that to her, (or if he's a bill churner, then YOUR L can depose her and ask those questions in a deposition and no one wants to have that confirmed in public). Maybe she wants child support?? Irrelevant.
I don't believe she'd want there to be a public hearing to disclose all that. Also tbh, I don't think she even wants full custody. Though She may not even realize that.She knows what sounds good... Put it this way, IF she does want full custody she is doing the exact opposite of what a lawyer would advise her to do.
If it weren't so sad, it'd be laughable.
I do not believe that is what is in the best interest for our children. They deserve equal time with both of us so hopefully, if there is justice in this world, then courts here will agree.
Why equal? Why not you getting full custody with visititation for her? OR you getting physical custody (but still joint, which saves her the embarrassment and which courts prefer anyhow) until such a time as she's "able" to have them half time?
She may well not be fully aware of her behavior (not "crazy" but not really with it).
FWIW, many years ago in h's first "Alaskan ordeal", I asked him if he was really willing to take the chance on losing his family all for a "great job opportunity" (adventure)
and he said something like "guess I am willing". I was shocked.
When I mentioned that 2 years later, he had no recall. In fact, he went further, stating that he'd "never say something like that"...and I bet you that he'd pass a polygraph.
However, I am 100% POSITIVE he said that - b/c I can tell you where I was when I asked and when he replied, etc. It's freeze framed in my mind.
Point is, they don't necessarily know what they are saying or how it looks (your w sure doesn't) nor do they all recall it later. Nor do they seem to have a sense of what's forseeable down the road, like harmed r's.
Lacking self awareness is the hallmark of many diagnoses. MLC, narcissist, unresolved childhood issues and blah blah blah.
NOT SURE IT MATTERS why....if they lack it, they lack it. Which makes them emotionally dangerous for now.
Years ago, I practiced criminal defense and a lot of my clients were people who made bad choices, but given their backgrounds, you could see why, or they made horrible choices in the heat of the moment, etc.
BUT SOME were just unrelatable. They had chronic anger management issues they refused to address and or they did really bad things to innocent people...sometimes with planning.
I don't mean clients with bad childhoods, but people who had no explainable reason for their horrible actions.
Of those^^, most showed little or no remorse. More like "I did not do it or, well I 'had to', Or you'd do the same if you were me' Or I was under stress, Or lots of people do worse, & doesn't make me a bad person", ETC
So none of them said "well I'm an a$$hole or "I am very selfish" or "chose to be a bad person." NONE OF THEM SAID THAT...
they all rationalized heinous behavior, (with the few mentally ill exceptions, who wanted help).
I was sort of morbidly fascinated with those^^ people but eventually I came to believe I would never truly "get" them. They were so different than my experience or my circles, that I stopped trying to understand them.
I tried to explain how a jury would view them, but 3/4 of the time, they really believed the jury would understand why they had no choice, why they were "right"...and usually, there was a total inability to grasp societal views...so, fwiw, I see similarities in some of the WAS's here.
Deal with what you're facing, which is an absentee mom.
I know this hurts. But gosh, from where I sit, you are luckier than most men.
Instead of a woman trying to block or hinder your time with the girls, she's shoving it down your throat, publicly announcing her absences (not exactly "working to cure cancer, sure miss my kids")
it hurts and it's very scary but you are ahead in this. I think It'll be a gross bump in the road but I truly really believe you'll prevail.
Make sense?
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
