25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks Starsky. It's a blow, for sure. I am trying hard to Not spend time on why or how h can do this b/c I don't think it'll get me anywhere. And in 2006 I journaled somewhere here, that if the Alaska obsession arose again or if there was an OW, I'd walk away and not look back. But that statement is very hard to live by.

And it hurts to be 57 and have this happen when you think you're past it. You think you'll be rewarded for your loyalty.

I got really sick in October, and H was not there for me. To ME, that is the biggest betrayal of my life. I am still incredulous h would go off to Alaska, when I most needed him. In fact, it might be the only time I was "needy" in my life.

I'm not sure how someone can inflict so much pain on the 4 people who loved him the most, and emerge unscathed. I feel as if h will be haunted, but who knows? Maybe I am only trying to console myself.

Maybe he can keep very busy on the tundra with his OW now. No need to see the wreckage. He posts on FB about meeting the love of his life and introducing his "honey" to his family, (which does not include our kids, but his dad & brother...


Our kids are unhappy with him, to say the least.

But they are supportive to me and urged me to file, and too many other red flags were waving at me anyhow. And they are close to each other, thank God. No matter what age kids are, they are affected.

You know what I really have to do?

Take my own damn advice from the past decade.

Bdog I will check your thread soon