I noticed a pattern when my W would interact with me was sometimes when she needed something (a foot rub, food, etc) so I know she is in a meeting all day and she was responsible for ordering food. She reached out to me suddenly asking if I could pick the food up since she didn't plan it well. (we work at the same place). I told her a small lie that I am finally writing and so that I cannot really leave. She wrote "okay." "ttyl" and so much shorter messages than normal. So I said.. "calm down. You cannot be mad at me for wanting to do my work. I wish you would respect me more." And then she freaked out and wrote in all caps that she is not upset and how she doesn't like how judgmental I am. There is just a lot of unresolved anger that she has towards me.
Did I react too strongly? I just feel that if she tells me to stop doing all these nice things for her but that when I don't do them she reacts short or in the case of being hungry she says she will just go to bed hungry. And of course then I give in and say I will go grab something. I just feel so guilty and bad when I don't do these things. But I am in a desperate pursuer mode and she is retreating. And any time she comes closer and I connect with her she immediately retreats. I just don't know how to stop that pattern.
