And this morning everything was even more confusing. I kind of did my thing and suddenly she came to my bedroom talking about things. And after she took a shower she grabbed her breakfast shake (if there is a movie about us it is going to need a sponsor for the shake!) and coffee and just sat talking to me for twenty minutes. Just like last week it was about things she wanted to get me.
In the car she said another guy reached out to her but she isn't attracted to him and she really only wants friends. She said I don't know why I am telling you. I said maybe because you wanted me to know someone else reached out.
And then after asking me to just cancel the weekend plans later at night she said oh you contacted them to see if they can cancel it...well if they cannot cancel we can just go.
So her words were angry her behavior initially was angry and later compassionate and almost wanting my presence. I now know I need to not take that as anything more at this moment. I just need to accept that she truly IS confused and if I push or reach out she forces herself to not want near me. If I keep my distance she pursues me and becomes curious.
I am re reading the steps from the DR book... and I am going to have to try harder at focusing on my work.I have been able to work but it's also rough...
