from what I've seen on here from many years on the boards.....
When piecing with a spouse who cheated, we want them to feel "disgusted with themselves" as you mentioned. We want them to outwardly feel the utmost remorse and show it.
I think that's where the piecing becomes not doable for some. A WAS rarely lives up to that expectation. Because then they feel awful about themselves, unworthy of your love, and they distance and go back to a feeling they considered "good". I don't think it has to do with a feeling of a "spoiled daddy's girl" There is a chance sometimes when they know they hurt someone they love so much, they have a hard time looking in the eye of the pain they caused their spouse who is giving them a second chance. I think you personally will know if that's the case, or if she truly isn't remorseful.
It's tough, and I honestly don't know if I could have done it, especially since my ex is very unfamiliar with the feeling of remorse. Her comments to her friends? She may still just mis the feeling she had with him, not so much him. I am not making excuses for her. You will find out what the real truth is. But you may have to read between the lines.
