DonH, Past that, why can't I have something nice for once? Why can't I get blindsided and fall in love like a bad movie? I can't reason myself out of this one: the compatibility and chemistry here is through the roof. Someone who DOESN'T NEED ME for once in my life. Someone who DOESN'T CARE what I can give them, or do for them. Someone who encourages me to keep being my own person. That I can talk philosophy with, or books, or art, or about childish things. Make out in a movie theater like teenagers for the first time in my life. Feel PASSION that has NEVER ONCE been part of my life in my four decades. See that passion looking RIGHT BACK AT ME when I look into another set of eyes. Why is this so bad? Why walk away from something good, JUST for someone who doesn't DESERVE the chance, or for a marriage that is already dead??
WHY?
You are asking why? I'll tell you why.
Because you are not thinking rationally. You are hurting, you are bleeding and all you can think of is how to stop the hurt. You are using someone to fill the void that got created inside of you. And you are placing an enormous responsibility of making you happy on someone else. THAT IS WRONG!
Until you realize that no one can make you happy, that only you can make you happy, until then you will be stuck. You are in such an unhealthy place right now. The best course of action for you would be to be still and heal. You need a lot of healing. You need to reinvent yourself. YOU ARE A BROKEN MAN! And broken attracts broken, so if your "GF" is attracted to you, that is a sign in itself. I GET YOU! It is soothing and so effin nice to have a warm body next to you, to hold you... BUT IT IS WRONG! You are not being fair to the "GF", nor to your D and certainly and most importantly to yourself.
