My relationship immaturity has shined through this. Even though what my W has done is despicable, she is still my wife and I need to show her some respect. I decided not to give up on my M but I have decided to let go. When I say I couldn't do it anymore, I really couldn't.
That resonates with my commitment. I took a vow. I am not insane that I believe we will guaranteed be together forever. But I said in sickness and in health. I have always been better when she needs me to be there for her (except two days ago but I need to forgive myself as it didn't ruin everything, nothing had even started really). She has acknowledged that and maybe if I am not pushing her to think about the M while she figures out if depression is a real threat here (she says it is, and it is OBVIOUS from her erratic behavior).
I did the same with checking websites. I downloaded Tinder which was new to me haha... turns out she just used OKcupid but whatever.
