LiM: One Year into Piecing

[Stormchaser]

My W referred to OM a few months ago as "ass.hole" in a text to a friend. So I kinda see where your W and mine differ on opinions on the OM.

This hurts to read, LiM. I fear that by you bringing it up, she may dismiss your feelings and make YOU feel bad about reading it.

I'm all for snooping. I still do and it rebuilds trust. That's just me.

I wish I had some better advice for you. If it were me, I'd bring it up immediately in MC. I think it needs to be addressed. Sometimes our waywards need steering, even though they think what they're doing isn't bad or wrong. I told you about my W sending the bikini pic. She totally thought nothing of it. NOW she sees how screwed up it was. It WON'T happen again.

You and I are alike and that we're probably very codependent. I'm sure I could use a lot more therapy in that department. But don't get too down on yourself. You DID file for divorce. You DIDN'T sit around and play "woe is me". You DIDN'T beg her back (like I stupidly did). Sure, you probably let her back too soon - we're all guilty of that because we want the pain to go away and things to return to normal.

Keep working on yourself. You've got nowhere to go but up. Look at some of the women out there, recently divorced or separated, how they feel - think about how you can meet someone like them, someone that so badly wants a loving, caring relationship? How you could eventually meet someone like that. How the NEW AND IMPROVED LiM would treat that new person. And how that person would wonder, "wow, where was this guy my whole life?"