About writing something... your wife isn't doing ANYTHING for your family right now. Why would you thank her for that, or ask your kids thank her for that?
I've been given the advice (repeatedly) that it's not my responsibility to foster the relationship between W and my daughter, it's only my responsibility to NOT damage it. I'd give you the same advice, here.
Sorry about your dad. The worst part of this is that the person you're supposed to lean on for support is not only not available, but the cause of your pain.
Stay sane. Detach. It's hard (for me it's been basically impossible to do long term) but it's absolutely worth it.
