I think the overall fantasy is that our walkaways will wake up, realize how much they love and miss us, validate the error of their ways, and come back with restored affection and commitment. That's what happens in the movies right?
Sometimes they just do not have the feelings for us that we would like our partners to have. This could be because of anything... FOO issues, addiction issues ( I know you're wife struggles with alcoholism and I am learning that an addict will never really be able to love another more then their addicted substance) personality disorders, etc
You can try your hardest, be the ultimate good guy. But for some partners it just doesn't matter.
The good new is, that you do have a rather simple choice. You can remain in a marriage with someone that you do not feel loves you the way you would like to be. Or you can leave the marriage and perhaps find some one that does.
Many walkaways do the former. However, I think there is a HUGE difference between a partner that walks away because of those feelings and a partner that decides to walk away after infidelity. Not so black and white.
I have recently found out that my ex was an addict. I was always questioning him and demanding love and time. I am so much happier now by myself, then being with someone that will never, ever be able to truly love and commit to me and his son.
