Who's fault is this again? Can I forgive her?

[roist]

The girls feelings for their mother are understandable and deserved. No arguing that. My point was not for them to throw down a red carpet but more so to get to a point where they can brush it off without being dragged down by her. It was your daughters initial reaction that sparked my thoughts.

I think when I saw her reaction I wanted to help her not continue to be as affected. Guess I have grown to like you and your girls.

One point I didn't make yesterday is that on several occasions you have pointed out that W has missed big occasions without any contact for example Christmas and birthdays. Yesterday you could have been writing that she didnt even make contact for yet another big event. That I believe would have been more damaging long term.

I know job advocates leaving her alone, but sometimes maybe she should be questioned. The girls are reacting to choices that SHE made. They did not chose to act that way. I know you have already pointed that out to her. Maybe you could ask her why she thinks D's abandoned her or why they are reluctant to let her back into their lives. I imagine her initial answers will not be great but it could cause her to think more about it.

On a sidenote maybe you should thank her for the geste with the flowers. You could add that you were saddened by the attitude expressed in the card as it negates the effort she made.

Anyway just an outsiders view.

Best wishes