Who's fault is this again? Can I forgive her?

[Irish M]

Hi Job, SBJ, bttrfly and Brubeck. I appreciate your encouragement and support.

Yes, I too am so happy we were all able to continue our day and not let anything about XW affect D16 day.

Roist :-) I never take anything the wrong way. I enjoy reading everyone's opinion and suggestion. If I didn't look at thing in different angles I will always go in the same direction, usually ending up in circles. The reason I post here and read so many stitch, is to get that knowledge, breakaway from the norm and open my thoughts to so much more. Good or bad.

I truly appreciate your prayers and insight on my Xw waking up one day and making things right. I feel it will happen as well. One day. Today or tomorrow is not that day. It is far off. +

The girls are 14 and 16 have been at this since the were 12 and 14. Just kids. Had their perfect lives torn from them and at the same time having their mom yell at them, push them, drive them in the car no seat belts and slam on the brakes making them bounce around in the back seat. had their mom offer them drugs and drinking. In a months time she completely cut them off. No love, no hugs, any attempts from them to talk to her was a door slammed in their face.

Then months of mom gone lost. No contact. Only reaching out when I needed to talk to her and she realizing she has kids.

My divorce ,. I did not have to fight for my kids. They didn't have to stand in front of the court and ask to live with daddy. She signed a paper before the court date and threw it at the lawyer.. telling her.. he can have the kids. They are his not mine.

All in the while I kept telling the girls mommy is not herself. She is going to wake up and realize her mistake. Its not their fault.
Me working with therapist to ensure they are ok. Also asked XW to consult with them to rebuild that connection. XW refused.

The anger and hatred is a normal phase they will go through. They are teens remember. No empathy skills yet. MLCr are teen like. Very me , myself and I attitude and thinking for the moment and not the consequence ..

how could you expect my teens, after going through such an ordeal , accept their mom for who she is, open the door to her and let her bring in her MLC drama and crap into their lives. They want nothing to do with this woman who is clearly not a mother, not the person they knew and is with the worst kind of man possible.


I appreciate your positive look on this and seeing my XW pop out when it is convenient to her around special dates. Her flowers to me were selfish. Not thinking at all how will this affect D16. Her card was only what a fool with no clue would write. Not accepting her role in this still.

Again I also want to agree with you. For her, in her MLC mind it was nice. Nice of her being a mom thinking of her D16.


With all that said, she followed up the next morning with an email to both D's

Hi girls, it was a hard day not being there. I respected you both because you abandoned me. You don't want me in your life. I want you both to know that I always and still do put you first. I hope you will reach out to me.
Oh, D14, when you graduate I hope I will be there to watch. Also I hope to be part of your 16th birthday.
Have a nice summer. Mom

I see both good and bad with that email. Her hopes are good. her actions are bad. Also the hoping they have a nice summer?? is that nice or is that no contact until fall. lol She claims to put them first.. ? how?

In the end, she still lives in another town, lives with Om, continues to lie about why she is where she is. Blaming the girls. Not taking any kind of responsibility. Zero messaging to me. (thank you Jesus). She has a long way to go.


what i do know. We will have an amazing summer. we will make more memories and our family bond will be ever more stronger.


Hugs

Irish