Hi Coly – I've been reading here for a year and this is my first reply. I saw you just had one year apart from your husband... On May 22nd of last year, my wife dropped the bomb by showing up in Vegas sans wedding ring.
She went straight to divorce, getting her own place and leaving all of her highly personal items at home. She's always kept everything that's ever been sentimental to her - letters, cards, baby clothes & toys from her childhood and our three kids. She left them all behind - and she has trouble recalling memories about the kid's childhood now.
Last Sept she left the kids and I for two months, and only returned after a scary car accident that she still can't seem to tell a straight story about. Since then she's gradually tried to reacquaint herself with the kids and mend the broken relationship. The Teenagers are still leery of her efforts but while inconsistent, she's trying really hard.
Just recently I decided it would be financially necessary for me to give up my apartment and move in with my brother for a few months and squirrel away some money to pay down debt from the divorce (She signed away physical custody of three kids in January so I'm free to go). The original plan was we'd come back for the following school year so eldest daughter could finish last year in high school.
About a month ago she started to show signs of wanting to come back to the family. She indicated she wanted to move with us, but to actually stay there and start all over instead of coming back. I welcomed the idea and started to make plans only to frighten her off as I became impatient she would not break up with her boyfriend and spend time with the kids and I.
Now she's run back to her boyfriend and wants to keep this other life more than starting a new one with us.
I feel like all of my patience and kindness just vaporized as I became jealous and pushy as frustration took over. Now she's scheduled to see a lawyer and I fear she's going to try to take me to court to prevent the kids and me from leaving.
I don't know what to do now. I've already broken my lease and my worry is if I leave she's going to get even more embedded with the OM. She's destroyed all of her relationships with family and friends. I know she's lonely and this new guy is all she has left if the kids and I leave.
Anyway, I'm venting. I'm scared and angry with myself for getting excited too quickly.
My gut says I should just go to 180 and do absolutely nothing, go to brother's place as planned, and let her do whatever she's going to do – But I'm open to suggestion.
Me: 48 WW: 43 OM: 53 met 12/16 to 10/19 M: 18 T: 20 D20 S18 S9 BD 05/22/16 W asked for D 6/20/16 D final 1/9/17