I'm so sorry you are struggling. I'm sure you have a rush of feelings-particularly post new snuggly baby.
25 makes some good points. I get it. I do. You are in a difficult place. And I'm not sure if others have mentioned this, however I find something a bit interesting about your situation. It reminds me of friend of mine. He and his wife have been together 20 years. They are both 40. They have separated 3 times but no one wants to divorce. They are both nice people and loving parents. Without going into specifics, when things get shaky, he "seeks" attention from others. Yes, we all like an ego strike and I'm certainly no exception. However, I think there are certain personalities both male and female that are pre-disposed to really seek that when times are uncertain. I am certainly not telling you to walk out or leave your marriage. I could never make that decision for someone. I had a difficult enough time making it for myself. However, if nothing is really any different then I agree with the others and what's the harm in letting him go? Your h certainly does not sound like a bad person. He may be one of those people though that will always be looking for affirmation from other women if things aren't going a certain way. THAT may be a very difficult battle to fight-for the duration of your marriage.
25 makes another interesting point about relationships with young kids. My kids are now 14,12 and 7. When x Mr. GB left a little over three years ago, I knew that it would be a lot to ask of someone to handle my stuff. I wouldn't sign up for it and I'm fun, hilarious, independent and cute some days. :-) And three years later I feel the same. However, I am at peace with that because I realize we all have stuff. My children are wonderful, however it is a lot to take on. I know you were younger than I am but there will probably come a time when you want to enter into another relationship. I am certainly not saying you should stay married just because you don't want to deal with the aftermath or a future with dating and kids and comingling families. It DOES make my head spin.
Why not for now, focus on school and your kids. If the situation seems super contentious with him in the house, then perhaps a conversation should be had. Being miserable or walking around on eggshells is not a way to live.
Sending you a hug.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
