25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[25yearsmlc]

Jim

that does (mostly) make me feel better. In the justice sense. In the marital sense I am perhaps always (??) going to wonder who h became.

H must have had some seething hidden resentments that festered into things I literally don't think happened at all or are so wildly distorted it's ALMOST laughable.

Plus the resentments tend to support their self serving narratives so that somehow, h is angry at ME.

That is rich with irony.

But a year ago he snapped about something and I recall wondering why HE would do that b/c in that moment, he had just done something irresponsible and had in some way let me down. I don't recall it much but it was something that objectively speaking meant he had dropped the ball in some way and it hurt my feelings. I know at the time I had not complained or b1tched b/c I recall being a little proud of how well I had handled the hurt...


So When he snapped at me a few minutes later I said "whoah, h, why are you mad at me?"

Honest to God h said, "because you are mad at me".

To which I replied, "h, first off, I'm not 'mad'. I'm upset, but rather than lashing out, why don't you just ask me what's upsetting, and we can explore that, rather than escalating this way?"

H looked at me as if it was the first time this idea had crossed his mind. Like we had never ever communicated normally in our lives...


SIDENOTE-- people, we were happily married for years and years and would NEVER have had this type of ^^ goofy immature exchange our first 25 years.

Something in him changed or he began to lie or feel shame, which always always converted into blame.

and yet...what difference does it all make now?