25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4)

[hoosjim]

25, you are constantly trying to "ground" me and make sure I am keeping perspective so I will offer you something here: I, too, struggle with this idea of "losing". Not that I am "losing" my W and feel like I need to "win" her back or to "win" some sort of possession contest with the OM, but what the system and the divorce process is very likely to end up meaning for me if, as seems the odds-on likely (though not yet certain) outcome, my W and I should split. I foresee a sitch where I, as the primary breadwinner, end up paying spousal support for her (I make a little more than 3x annually what she does, though her salary is a major boost to us that really helps us keep our head above water what with all our med bills) as well as giving up, I believe, half of my retirement pension. Coupled with the added expense of living apart, this will mean my dreams of retirement in four years when kids finish college are pretty much kaput and that I will likely work until, idunno, somewhere around 70, all the while (potentially) financing her and her A with the OM (who has a fairly inconsequential income and is not doubt salivating at the prospect of dating a woman who will be able to tap into my support and benefit payments). Doubt he would be stupid enough to marry her under those circumstances. All the while my dreams of a happy, carefree retirement off doing fun things with my beautiful wife after all those gruelling years of raising two special-needs children will die a cruel death.

And its not like, in the big scheme of things, the money means that much to me. I would of course give it all up and live in a box if she would come back and live there with me. It will just be added salt in the wound to have to cut that check every month, bleeding me dry while supporting her and the deadbeat OM who would be (presumably) sleeping with the woman I love. Ouch. Some system.