I could slap my forehead about how many times you have said "I just think HE'S done" and "I just need some reassurance from him that..."
only to then say YOU are "just done", And then you return here to ask for advice after. You are as confused as he is and the impasse rages on.
Neither one of you has been able to change, first...in any lasting way
I don't see that changing. So let him go, or live this way and stop hoping for more.
I don't want to tell you what you SHOULD want or need, you need what you need.
Imo, IF there is a way for you two to find your way back to each other,
it will only come with time apart. It's certainly not happening inside the home.
What about making a decision and leaving it be, for a year?
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
