180man Thread 4

[180Man]

"We have 2 ears and 1 mouth to listen twice as much as we talk."

Oooh, I like that. I will have to remember that! Ty!

You are doing good 180. Keep on keeping on.

Kudos 180. Glad to hear you're doing well.

Thanks guys. I know for sure I am doing better and it's like night and day from six months ago....but sometimes I wonder if I actually know what I'm doing. It all seems well and good on the surface, but...are these the right things to be doing? Even coffee with this girl kind of feels wrong in the back of my mind. I'm guessing that's just a holdover from being married, but...I mean, when I read 25's posts about coffee I wonder if I am doing this too soon, too quick. My buddies who have been pushing me to date for months tell me stupid shít like "Don't fall in love" or "It's just a rebound." And I'm like...if I was going to rebound wouldn't that have happened in January? And why do I have to set arbitrary rules for myself? Can I not just enjoy her company and see what happens? I mean, she could be completely crazy once I actually get to know her...but she could also be the sweetest person I've ever known. I don't know yet.

So, I struggle with these thoughts from time to time. I suppose one of the lessons I've learned during all of this is that there is no checklist for life, as much as my mind wants one. Most of the time nobody can tell you with absolute certainty that one path or another is wrong or right. So we stumble around in the dark trying to feel our way to the light switch and hope we run into as little as possible on the way there. I guess that feeling of wandering around in the dark is what I'm describing in the paragraph above. It sùcks sometimes but I know that damn switch is around here somewhere!

Perhaps this is appropriate for me right now:

"Those who seek learning gain every day
Those who seek the Way lose every day" -Lao-Tzu

Of course "the way" is its own complicated concept, but perhaps for me...right now...it can just mean my path. Maybe I need to focus less on wondering if I'm on the right path or not and focus more on learning and growing. But I think you all knew this already before I typed it...