In the UK - pt23 - bugger me pink, I'm still here

[NDY]

Alright big chap?

had been paying W's maintenance to her by cheque. Earlier this year she asked if I could 'direct pay' in to her bank account, as this 'suited her better'. Hmmm.....in my usual nice guy manner, I did this, but have now started paying by cheque due to her attitude. She tried numerous text messages to get me to pay money in, but I just ignored them. I know it sounds churlish, but why am I doing things that facilitate her 'new' life?

Dude that sounds like you are trying to punish her. Forget that. I get the whole feeling the loss thing but really? How the hell can you be the lighthouse when she's sitting at home seething at your stubbornness? Think about it. This isn't a game of tit for tat. Pay the money into her account and be the bigger man.

This isn't about facilitating her new life and more about your kids being looked after.

Mate if your kids need new shoes just get them new shoes. It's not worth mentioning. If you're expecting her to react to that then from now on don't expect it. That's the issue here. I think you would benefit from reading ... Stop doing thing and expecting a positive reaction from her. It isn't a contractual agreement.

Birthdays are always tough. I get that mate but you'll work
That out.

As for the car. Have you actually tried to talk to her? And I mean talk not argue. Why not ask her why she cant bring them and why it's such an inconvenience.
Why can't you get a car? Coz mate if it were me I'd make sure I could go and get my kid.

I have made it patiently clear to my ExW that I depend on her for nothing. Not a thing. That co dependency is gone. Perhaps with your STBEX that may be a good thing.

Hang in there mate. You'll get it.

Peace