So, a few weeks have moved on, and we're still here
For those of you still following this, the last great action of Huddy was to throw (not literally)W out of the flat. Her constant selfishness finally got me so annoyed, she had to go.
W contrived to keep my S away from me on his birthday (it should have been a day he should have been here), so, I called him instead. Very difficult with his autism.
I've had the kids this weekend. We've had great fun going to the toy superstore, rides on buses and trains, pizza night and then, to day, a trip to a new ice cream parlour that's opened near me. Kids really happy and relaxed.
I had been paying W's maintenance to her by cheque. Earlier this year she asked if I could 'direct pay' in to her bank account, as this 'suited her better'. Hmmm.....in my usual nice guy manner, I did this, but have now started paying by cheque due to her attitude. She tried numerous text messages to get me to pay money in, but I just ignored them. I know it sounds churlish, but why am I doing things that facilitate her 'new' life?
W came today to pick up the kids and launched in to a tirade about her having no money and having to subsidise my SD as her student loan money had been stopped (W forgot to mention that the reason for this was my SD having to stay at home to deal with something my W had got wrong in the first place). She then launched in to another tirade about how she doesn't she why she should bring the kids to me (I don't have a car, and by the time I'd gone on the bus to get them, due to the distance, it would be time to bring them home again) which then got a follow up about having no money (again - I had bought my S some new shoes) to buy things with etc. etc.
I don't react anymore - it's better for my blood pressure. I am away next weekend for a 'lads' weekend. It'll be good to let my hair down. W drove away badmouthing me to the kids - that's wrong in so many ways as I never do that about W, angry and distressed, but it's all of her own making.
I still have lonely moments, and have found I'm doing more work to try and compensate. You do know notice the change in yourself over time. I still love her though - if only she could se her way through the mess.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
