Yes, it happens. I've seen LBH'S reconcile with the W and later realize they could not get pass the things she did. Instead of the H giving up b/c he could not measure up to her high maintenance, it's been more H's realizing they no longer felt the same about the W.
When a H puts so much work into getting back his W, his emotional energy can be spent quickly. That's one of the reasons we push newcomers to focus at working on themselves, GAL, etc. Working on himself should not be a method to just get her back again, b/c as soon as he feels she is back in the MR.......his "improvements" fall by the wayside. He should focus on how to improve himself as a man in the relationships in his life. This is not about him measuring up, or competing for his WW.
When I read your post, it sounds as if you are saying the OM is more qualified to fill the position of husband to your W. Although we occasionally see this thinking in a LBH, it is not the more common mindset. IMHO, it comes when the LBH feels he has been placed in a competition with the OM, and feels inferior to him.
If you decide to bow out of the M, then do it b/c it is best for you. Don't consede defeat b/c you feel OM would make a better H for your W.
If you are worn out and emotionally drained, why not drop the rope and not focus on your W? Make a life apart from her and do the things you enjoy. If she wants to mess up her life, then let her go. Don't give her the control to destroy you and your opportunity for whatever your future holds.
Your W is not the prize here, so don't compete for her. Don't think of yourself as a loser. Whether the M succeeds or fails.........you are the winner in Dale's life. You are the star!
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
