Betrayed Spouse

[25yearsmlc]

Sandi or anyone else out there:

I find my willingness to continue to wane. Crawling up to 10 months. Im seeing subtle changes in her but starting to see a lot of negatives.


are these^^ objective negatives in her that you never noticed before, or she's now changing, or are they negative reactions/emotions in You?

1) On paper, wife and AP is way more compatible than me and her. They are from same city, hurricane Katrina relocated them. They both have a love for New Orleans. Both had a rough childhood, both love to travel, both like going out and being "seen", both love to take 1000s of photos, AP divorced his wife for reasons my wife wants a divorce, both love music. Im partly some of those things but I'm much simpler.

don't play into this^^^. It gets you nowhere.


2) I'm worried if recon even happens, I won't be able to keep up with her newfound high maintenance.

are these really newfound or previously ignored, or what? AND don't get ahead of yourself here. Piecing is damn hard.

Cross that bridge when you get there.

I know ultimately its up to me but has anyone came across this? Not giving up because just tired, but just because spouse changed way too much.

this^^ is valid, okay? Discovering sides to our spouses we didn't know about

OR learning that they have changed

or not caring about whether they changed or we just learned more about them, can propel an LBSer forward in their new life.

I think there are 2 parts to this, at least.

1) one is figuring out whether you can handle the way you are being treated

AND Not whether she is new/different/or changing - *b/c in the end all that matters is how she treats you

(and focusing only on that, saves you a TON of time mind reading about MLC or WAW or wayward, etc)

and

2) - how YOU feel about her, after the dust settles.

Only you can decide what you can tolerate for how long, & how you feel about the woman you see.