So last night I had another dream.

I dreamt I was at his wedding. He was marrying OW. But she wasn't there (and they child wasn't there either). It was only him who was there.

I caught a glimpse of him, from behind, heading up a staircase, and just wanted to get away and be away from him.

I felt like I didn't want to be there (just very uncomfortable, not in pain or hysterical or anything like that.I knew that I just wanted to be physically removed from him and not see him).

Thankfully the house where all of this was taking place was fairly large (and old house, beautiful, quite grand, but still welcoming and a lived in, lively space, not a dead, empty one).

So I just headed out the big doors, onto the terrace, round the corner, and out of sight. It was late afternoon/early evening and an absolutely beautiful time of day. I felt nothing but relief and calm, and absolutely myself.


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017